Making Therapy Feel Human Again: How Pear Is Changing the Way We Find Help

Frustrated by how difficult it was to find the right therapist, co-founders Tallie Hopkins and Dr Jo Carlile set out to build something better. The result is Pear - a therapist-matching platform that’s quietly transforming how we access mental health support. Designed to be warm, approachable and jargon free, Pear is rooted in one simple belief: therapy shouldn’t feel like a clinical transaction; it should feel like a human connection.

Tallie, a creative with a background in brandbuilding, brings the client’s perspective — the overwhelm, the trial and error, the feeling of not knowing where to start. Jo, a seasoned therapist with over 15 years' experience across the NHS and private practice, brings clinical insight and emotional clarity to the table. Together, they’re building a space where therapy feels less intimidating, and more like something you might actually want to do.

Here, they speak to Mother+ about the lightbulb moment that sparked Pear, the evolving role of therapy in modern parenthood and why they believe your mental health deserves more than a bubble bath.

Dr. Jo Carlile (left) and Tallie Hopkins (right)

Pear was born out of frustration with how hard it is to find the right therapist. Can you share more about that lightbulb moment — what wasn’t working in the system, and how did you go about building something better?

Tallie: I had the idea about four years ago when I was first looking for a therapist, and honestly, the whole process felt like a nightmare. I knew what I was struggling with, but I had no idea what kind of therapist I needed.

I was reading loads of bios on the online directories and thinking, this might as well be written in another language. I had no idea what any of the therapy jargon meant. It was overwhelming, especially at a time when I was already feeling vulnerable.

Eventually, after months of searching, I did find a great therapist, but I’ll caveat that by saying it felt like pure luck. That’s when I started thinking: surely there’s a better way to connect therapists and clients, one that feels easy and approachable for people, and also brings therapists their ideal clients. I got in touch with Jo who was also separately looking at how to improve this space and that’s where the idea for Pear came from.

Jo, you’ve worked in therapy for over 15 years across NHS services and now privately. What patterns or shifts have you seen in how people approach therapy, especially around big transitions like parenthood?

Jo: I started out as an Assistant Psychologist in 2008, when the world of mental health was still largely focused on disorders and crisis management. In the two decades since, there’s been a huge shift, especially in the general acceptance of therapy.

People are now more open about it. Friends, colleagues, and family members are having therapy or have had it in the past and there are key moments in life be it breakups, bereavement, major transitions where people are more likely to seek support.

Motherhood is one of the biggest of those moments. It’s transformational and incredibly vulnerable. You’re pushed to the limits physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

We’re beginning to talk more openly about the need for therapeutic support in motherhood, which is progress. But there’s still stigma around it - less about others needing therapy, and more about acknowledging that we do. We’ll often recommend therapy to a new mum friend without judgment, but we’re not always as kind or aware when it comes to ourselves.

How do you see the role of therapy shifting in the context of modern motherhood? Do you think we’re finally moving past the “self-care equals bubble baths” narrative?

Jo: Yes, I do see a shift. There’s an authentic narrative of self-care beginning to gain traction. I often tell my clients: if you can identify what gives you energy and what drains it, that’s the foundation of your self-care routine.

Knowing how to build yourself back up, how to restore your own capacity as a mother is powerful. I’m also really glad to see increasing recognition of how physical motherhood is, and how much it impacts your nervous system. As a mum of two young boys, my own nervous system has been pushed to its limits and it’s made me become increasingly respectful of how I need to prioritise my attention to my own systems.

While maternal mental health rightly gets attention, partners and co-parents can often feel unsure of where they fit in. How does Pear support men or others who aren’t the ‘primary caregiver’?

Jo: Parenthood isn’t just about mothers. When a baby arrives, it creates new roles—fathers, co-parents, step-parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, teachers, neighbours to young families. Each role carries its own triggers and transformations.

We’ve seen so many different kinds of people using Pear, but one strong group has been men. We found they are often quietly considering therapy and wanting a simple, clear way to get started. We’re proud that Pear is part of an ecosystem of humans who all want (and deserve) support, no matter their role or stage of life.

Tallie: It’s been brilliant to see how many men have come through the platform, especially dads who are struggling with the transition to fatherhood while also trying to support their partners. There’s definitely more conversation happening around the emotional impact on co-parents and caregivers, and that’s something we’re really passionate about supporting. Wherever someone is on their journey, we’re here when they’re ready.

Pear is all about demystifying therapy and making it feel more human, less clinical. What do you think people still misunderstand about therapy, and how are you working to change that?

Jo: When I tell people what I do, I still get raised eyebrows, a look of wonder, like I must do something magical. But really, my job is simple. I help people understand themselves better, and figure out how to make life feel less stressful. That’s the crux of it.

People often carry patterns or experiences from the past that don’t serve them in the present. Therapy helps unpack that. For me, self-knowledge shouldn’t be medicalised into a disorder, it’s as normal as knowing your favourite colour or film.

Tallie: I totally agree. So many people think you need to be in crisis, or have a serious diagnosis, to go to therapy. But actually, therapy is an amazing tool for self-understanding. It helps you see how you’re wired and live in a way that aligns with your values.

There’s also this idea that you need to perform or have your whole narrative figured out before you begin, but therapists meet you exactly where you’re at. If you don’t know what to say—or say nothing at all—that’s completely fine. It’s a no-pressure, no-judgment space.

At Pear, we try to keep our brand approachable and friendly. We want to make therapy feel easy to access, not intimidating. We also try to inject some lightness, even while respecting the seriousness of what people are sharing.

Pear feels like a deeply hopeful space, rooted in the idea that the right help is out there, if only you know how to find it. What’s your vision for the future of Pear?

Jo: We have grand plans, a whole fruit bowl, in fact! Our vision is to normalise the process of understanding who you are, identifying what support you need, and being able to access it easily.

That support might not always be therapy. Sometimes it’s a brilliant community, like Mother+. We want to help people know what kind of help they need, and when. But for now, we’re focused on creating a trusted, high-quality product and brand. That takes time, patience, and constant learning.

Tallie: Eventually, we want Pear to be the go-to place for anyone looking to invest in their mental wellbeing. Right now, we’re focused on the therapist-pairing platform, but we’ve got a whole suite of ideas coming (Jo calls it the fruit bowl!). Everything we build will centre around helping people understand who they really are and how to live in alignment with that.

For anyone reading this who’s feeling stuck, overwhelmed or unsure if therapy is “for them,” what would you say? Where should they start?

Jo: I’d say: reach out to us. Pear is very human. We talk directly to all our clients and guide them through the process. It’s completely natural to feel unsure—there’s no right or wrong answer to “do I need therapy?” A better question might be: how much am I struggling?

If things aren’t feeling good right now, something likely needs to shift. Therapy can help with that, so can a great conversation with a friend. But if therapy’s even on your mind, it’s probably worth sounding it out with someone. We’d love to be that sounding board… before things go a little too pear-shaped.

Tallie: And if you do feel ready, we’ve made it really easy. Just head to our website and take our five-minute pairing quiz. That’s all we need to match you with a great therapist.

For more information follow Pear on Instagram @ilovepear_ and to take their pairing quiz at www.ilovepear.com to be matched with the right therapist.